25th Friday

I met up with a Chinese friend of mine tonight we had a drink and went for dinner. I was asked if I like guys or ladies. She bought me a drink and I told her the truth. I said to her I have to listen to the Guy from above. After all what is really important ? Our family, our health and our lives. We have to take care of ourselves. Not letting others worry about us 

That's my answer. I told Y if we can't start over as friends again it is better not to meet up ever again. It's too much pain for me given how much sleepless nights and tears I have shed I know what kind of impact if we see each other for the first time after 7 years. Does it ever matter and how dare to even mention it is better to go back to the time we never contact each other if we cant handle. Another slap on my face. It is better to kill me than to create this kind of endless torture. So don't ever knock on my door I m sure it won't be open again. The reality is you always think u're better than I will ever be. Let it be. I never play any games or lie to you about my feelings. It's just too bad that you never feel the same and you never see to get it. You don't deserve to know my life my choice because it shall be the end of my tiredless desire. The end of L era. No more. No moe for me.